Sunday, October 31, 2004

Watching Interview With The Vampire always makes me want to write.

I had a blast of a weekend, in a very frosh-week kind of way. I went to two Halloween keggers last night. That's right, count them. TWO. For those of you who know me well, this will come as quite the shock. Last night I rocked out with my co-... err, well, you get the idea. I enjoyed many hilariously random moments, which are evidently the best kind of moments that there are.
  • Sketchy student housing basement smelling like old, sweaty gym socks

  • Yellow-spandex clad Pikachu grabbing my ass

  • Guy peeing in front of an apartment building - "don't forget to shake!"

  • Holding down construction fence so Jen could use the abandoned porta potty

  • "Watch out - Pikachu has to puke!"
  • Hitting on cute Monk guy in the bathroom at Tim Hortons

  • Getting called Sarcastic Devil Horns Girl by the bouncer :D

  • The search for Assless Chaps Guy
Good times! I love nights like that - especially when I come home at 2:30 am and end up talking on the phone till 5:30 am. I woke up, on only 5 hours sleep, feeling amazingly relaxed and refreshed. I barely worked all day, and for once I wasn't haunted by the feelings of anxiety. It felt terrific.

I wish Halloween was every weekend.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Something happened today that abruptly brought me out of the little self perpetuating cycle of my life. Right now my life revolves around school: every waking minute I am either in school, doing school work, or thinking about doing school related work. It never ends. I never get out of it. It's exhausting, and it becomes my entire world. It becomes difficult to think and feel outside of this self-created arena, unless prompted to do so for a class (which only really applies to one course that I'm taking right now).

I forget the perspective of the grand scheme of things when I get into this mode, and it can make it seem like I am Atlas, with the weight of the world balanced upon my shoulders. But in reality, it's only my little self-created world of neurotic worryings and stress. I've been feeling so hunched over, and it only took one uncomfortable moment in Women's Studies class today to bring this back into perspective. It was a physically and mentally disorienting moment, and it just made me realize that I'm over-stressed and over-analyzing and over-worrying about all these little things that really don't matter that much. I always come to these points, of realization and taking a step back, but that never stops me from getting into this self-perpetuating cycle in the first place.

What happened today was this: my women's studies prof choked up today while making an announcement of apology to the class. She had taken some of our writings, put them anonymously on sheets, and handed it out to the class for us to critique on good/bad writing styles. Apparently, some people were upset and complained about having their writing ripped into by the class. So today the prof got up and apologized, and while doing so, broke out into tears. I was so uncomfortable, it felt horrible to be sitting there watching her feel this badly about the situation. I wasn't one of the people who complained, but it was just so shocking to see this normally very aggressive and strong woman tearing up over this.

It's just not something you expect from a prof, and I'm still thinking about my reaction: it really threw me out of my little cycle. This is not what happens in my little arena. So why was I so uncomfortable? Was it just from this abrupt shrugging of my Atlas-world? Would I have reacted the same way if it were a male prof? I don't know. I only know that it has really made me stop and think about how self-involved and oblivious I can get.

Listening to: Take Me Away - Lifehouse

Friday, October 22, 2004

You'd think that with the amount of garlic I eat that it would be practically impossible for me to get a cold. But alas, my dearest friend garlic has failed me: I have a damn cold! Boo-frickity-urns. My throat is killing me, I had post-nasal drip, headache, and body aches. I must part-take in another savior this evening - movies and NyQuill.

Apart from the cold, I am actually thoroughly enjoying my Feminist Theory course. It's interesting to take a course where you not only study theory, but you study the praxis of those theory. We discuss a lot, and I find it really fascinating how deeply I've been prompted to question myself, my beliefs, and my society. A particular author, named bell hooks, even made me realize that my location on the more liberal end of feminism can problematize racial equality: since I am white, and benefit unconsciously from white profiled, I tend to focus my attention and praxis more so on social equality. I was quite surprised at the level of guilt I felt after reading the article, it really opened my eyes.

I am in desperate need of brainless activity: off to watch Van Helsing! WHOO :D

Sunday, October 17, 2004

NSERC application done. Now there's the Subject GRE and Grad School application and then it's OVER - all out of my hands. I can't wait for that.

So, we were on our way out from dinner to head on over to the pool hall, and Cassandra wanted to make a stop in the Music Building on campus to pick up something. We willingly tagged along, and were ushered into the rehearsal room to wait for Cass. Two pianos, a big fucking gong, drums, and symbols suddenly turned 4 University-going women into wee little elementary school girls. We were running around giggling, playing all the instruments (having way too much fun with the gong).

On our way out, we heard actual good music - someone was ripping it out on a drumset. Cassandra led us in and introduced us to a pretty damn cute drummer boy. We then proceeded to ask him to play us something. I have never seen someone with so much rhythm, it was rockin. Consequently, this guy went from "pretty cute" to "smokin hot". What can I say, I'm apparently born to be a groupie!

Pool was equally fun - I got hit in the thigh by a flying cue ball. That's always a pleasant experience. I will miss some things about Waterloo when I leave, but nothing that involves the town itself - just a few certain people that can make this hell hole bearable at certain points.

Listening to: Ice - Sarah McLachlan... hoping Jamie had a good time at her concert tonight :D

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

So begins the official HELL WEEK of October. There are many more to come in November and into finals-month. Oh joy.

At least I had a terrific Thanksgiving weekend. These are the lessons I learned:
  • Forgetting that your swiss-army knife is attached to your key chain = bad times when going through Airport security. But at least the female guards kept commenting on how pretty my boots were.

  • Sleeping in an environment that is so quiet as to make my ears ring at first = absolutely divine. Fucking loud Waterloo people.

  • Getting passed off as a Med-1 student at a VIP party at a club downtown, having Pre-meds offering to buy me drinks, and finding a 20 dollar bill on the dancefloor = good times

  • Deciding that we wanted to have General Tao and Spicy Peanut Dumplings at 3 am following this outing = not such a great idea.
  • Discovering your best friend falls into the "I'm not a Feminist, but..." trap and that she is the biggest cover-hog ever = interesting and simultaneously frustrating.

  • Spending time with family, having delicious meals, and participating in riveting political conversations at the dinner table = something I will never take forgranted.

  • Home is the most comfortable place on earth = blatantly obvious.
So concludes my Thanksgiving Weekend Lesson plan. Moral of this story = umm.. I dunno... don't stick your fingers in electrical outlets?

Listening to: Tear Me in Two - Stroke 9