Sunday, March 28, 2004

Last week of classes. Ridiculous. Another year down the drain. Everything's looking up though, and I can't wait to go home. Study outside on the deck in the sun, sipping some daiquiris. The new Dark Tower book, Song of Susannah, comes out in June - as does the new Harry Potter movie. Things I'm greatly looking forward to. I can't wait to get the fuck away from my bitch-ass roommates. The sound of her voice, the way she walks, her incessant whining, drives me up the fucking wall. God, I don't know how I'm going to survive another year with her. Someone is going to lose a limb and/or suffer a tragic deathly accident. Hopefully it's not me throwing myself out the window.

I bought a cordless keyboard/mouse set today for 54 bucks, it's awesome! You can see it at this address. Me likes, It's perty, small, black, feels nice, and it works from the opposite end of my apartment. Pretty awesome.

I've been thinking lately about certain things that I want to experience in my life, most of which while I'm young. As John Mayer has said, maybe it's a quarter-life crisis or just a stirring in my soul. Anyway, it is as follows:

1.) Sky-dive or base-jump
2.) Travel excessively (a list of countries I'd like to visit will come at some later date)
3.) Stay at this particular hotel in Greece where my parents stayed last September, it's ridiculously beautiful. Check it out here. There's views like:

4.) Take a completely random and spontaneous road-trip with my friends
5.) Go to Mardi Gras in New Orleans
6.) Go to a kegger - heh, I know. I just want to have a complete University experience
7.) Sail a massive trimaran
8.) See the Northern Lights, Aurora Borealis
9.) Spend an entire summer at a tiny secluded cottage in the forest, on the edge of a lake - in complete isolation. To buy a place such as this would be amazing

There's always more that just isn't surfacing to my mind right now. Me tired. Going to read in bed.

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Me and Jean-Paul Sartre, we're like this [insert image of two crossed fingers].

Philosophy class today was rather deserted, seeing as it was the day after St-Paddy's Day in a University town. About 1/3 of the class was there, to be precise. The prof, who is an amazingly cool German woman, went up to the board and wrote:
"What do you take to be the meaning of life (if any), particularly your life?"
I knew it was going to get interesting right then. These kinds of discussions can be either good, or very very very bad. Good in the sense that you can have intelligent conversations that make sense, are interesting, and relevant. Sometimes people can surprise you with really fascinating takes on things. On the other hand, people can also surprise you with their stupidity. Case and point: How do we know a house doesn't have a mind? God I wanted to kill that kid. So anyway.

This conversation started out pretty good, people giving basic type answers to this question. The prof then asked about our specific takes on meaning and life. I raised my hand and basically summarized Rand, explaining that for me it's pointless to talk about the meaning of life in reference to the whole Universe. I don't really give a shit what other people see as meaning of life or their life. The only meaning that is relevant to me is my life. Strictly because it is my life and I cannot live any other life. I will live by my standards and live only for myself.

With that, we got into the discussion of higher powers and teleological end-goals of the Universe and evolution. One classmate insisted that no way, no how, there was absolutely no end-goal and meaning to life in general. Someone debated this. I raised my hand and suggested that we have no right to say for sure that it's one way or the other. We have no right to place judgment on other people's evaluations, it's all about individual decision.

So we proceeded into our Intro to Sartre, the class being divided up into groups to discuss certain passages. The point of this entry lays below:

One section of Sartre's writing explains that we have no right to place judgments on other individuals choices and views in regards to faith and the meaning and purpose of life. It's all subjective individual decision.

Sound familiar? Yeah. Me and Sartre - LIKE THIS, I tell you.

Listening to: You're the Ocean - Teitur

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

The lecture topic of my women's studies class a few weeks ago was women in music. We discussed the Riot Grrrls movement in the 80s and 90s, and specifically a band called Bikini Kill. This is punky, harsh, raw, loud, and political music. I'm fascinated by the lead singer, Kathleen Hanna. She was sort of spear-headed as the representative for the Riot Grrrls movement, though she's clearly reluctant for political (and I'm sure personal, though I don't want to speak for her) reasons. The movement was about women coming together, not one individual standing above all others, so Kathleen Hanna's response is not only understandable but highly respectable.

I've been listening to their stuff lately. Below is lyrics for one particular song, called White Boy. I really enjoy the song, and the lyrics even more so. If you get a chance, download this puppy.

White Boy - Bikini Kill

White Boy : I don't think it's a problem cuz most of the girls ask for it

Kathleen : Uh huh, how did they ask for it?

White Boy : The way they act, the way they...
I...I can't say they way they dress because that's their own personal choice

White Boy : Some of these dumb hoes, those slut rocker bitches walking down the street,
they're asking for it, they may deny it but it's true.

Lay me spread eagle out on your hill, yeah
Then write a book bout how I wanted to die
It's hard to talk with your dick in my mouth
I will try to scream in pain a little nicer next time


I'm so sorry if I'm alienating some of you
Your whole fucking culture alienates me
I can not scream from pain down here on my knees
I'm so sorry that I think!


Thursday, March 11, 2004

Top 10 Pet Peeve List

1. Horrible grammar in general, this mainly includes using "“your"” instead of "you're"”, or vice-versa.
2. The stereotype that equates feminism with man bashing, and that all feminists are man-hating, unshaven, militant lesbians.
3. People who don't signal when turning and people who drive really fucking slow in the passing lane; it defeats the purpose of being in the fast lane!!!$&*@#??
4. Unfounded assumptions about my own character and personality based on little or no fact and those who generally judge others in the same manner.
5. The contradictory elements of many organized religions, mainly Catholicism, and those who preach these dogmas for anti-gay, anti-abortion reasons, and for many other reasons in general. This also includes those individuals who try to force religion upon others.
6. The great importance and absolute necessity placed on sex these days. This also entails those who sleep around because they think it'’s "cool"”, and the shame and disgrace placed on those who do not hold this belief
7. Labeling of females who are direct, honest, blunt, witty, and intelligent as bitches as if it's a bad thing.
8. The obsession some guys have with cars and thinking their hot shit. This includes retards who fix up an 87 Chevy with some ugly-ass spoiler duct taped to the back of their car, and those who drive around in their mom's mini-van with one hand on the automatic stick shift while blasting Eminem.
9. Those who whine ceaselessly and over-dramatize every fucking little thing, thus overstating their general importance.
10. People who fear greatness, intelligence, and those who attempt to destroy virtues in others what they could never hope to achieve in themselves. Basically, jealously and malicious retribution.

A pet peeve that is quickly climbing the list to the ever-so-elusive Top 10:

People who don't know how to have a basic conversation. This includes people who only talk about theirselves, especially when they don't know much about the current topic. Let me clarify using an example:

I was talking to someone once, who will remain nameless, and the topic came up concerning what I was currently doing at school. I started to explain the research I was doing, which was kinda technical to someone who isn't in the field. When I had finished, he responded with "Yeah that reminds me of something once when I was at school that...". He didn't comment WHATSOEVER on ANYTHING I had said. Not a thing. Not one simple question, nothing. Just straight back to talking about himself. I was a little peeved at this point, because I was excited about what I was doing and wanted to talk about it. He knew I was excited about it, I had been bringing it up quite a lot. I understand not knowing much, or anything, about the topic. But I DON'T understand not even asking a single thing, completely ignoring everything I had said in favour of talking about himself.

This wasn't a one time deal. It was EACH AND EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION that we had. It's incredibly frustrating to have that happen all the fucking time. I didn't even need to be there, all he needed was a wall that could put "yeah", "right", "uh huh" in the right places. This drives me up the goddamn wall. Even writing this is getting my blood pumping.

In conclusion: if you want to talk incessantly about yourself, pay a goddamn therapist and stop WASTING MY FUCKING TIME!!!!!

Sunday, March 07, 2004

I've finished re-reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and now I'm re-reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I had read them all very quickly and in short succession, so it's almost like reading them for the first time again. I love it. It's hard to describe because it's a rarity when a book can make me feel the way the Harry Potters do. I have absolutely no respect for such snobs who refuse to read these books because they're looking down their noses at them. "Children's books" has somehow become a tainted category to these people, and I detest such outright snobbery.

Maybe a little of this bitterness stems from the fact that I've been cooped up inside all week-end writing a women's studies paper. Not to mention that I woke up to snow on the ground this morning. SNOW!! On Friday it was around +10C, and now there's snow??!?!?!? God hates me, it's the only explanation.

Speaking of God, I saw The Passion of the Christ last Tuesday. I've had some very interesting conversations leading up to it, and resulting from it. It's fascinating to see how very deeply this movie touches people: it's either disgust and fury, or a certain awe of it. Andrew and I were in the cab on the way to the theater, and we started discussing philosophy and religion. I was explaining Kierkegaard's rendition of the Abraham story, and how I enjoyed it because I felt the exact same way as Kierkegaard: I myself do not have faith, but I have the utmost respect for those who do. As Kierkegaard put it, "faith begins precisely there where thinking leaves off". At this point, the cabbie turns around while at a stoplight and asks "You going to see The Passion of the Christ?"... heh.. that struck Andrew and I as pretty damn funny.

After I was back in the apartment, I found I was unable to do any work. I was that moved by the movie, it made my life seem so trivial and trite. Here I was worrying about a paper I would have to write (the damn WS paper, no less) while I had just watched a man scourged practically to death and then nailed to a wooden cross. What's even more interesting is I'm atheist, yet this depiction of Christ and the crucifixion still managed to touch me.

A girl in my WS class and I were discussing the movie, and she was upset because she felt the movie was historically inaccurate. Now, I understand her view but I was also simultaneously annoyed by it. 1.) We don't know ANYTHING 100% accurately about that particular time period. We don't know how truthful and objective the Bible is, therefore we have no basis to complain about what's accurate or not. Fact is, we don't know. 2.) This was someone's VISION, someone's personal depiction of the events. We have to keep this in mind. I've been told that Gibson took many Christ stories and combined them into one cohesive unit. Yes yes yes, we know Satan does not actually physically appear in Bible stories, but that's not the point. Satan was present whenever Christ, or one of his disciples, were doubting. I thought that was extremely clever and well done.

Seems like I've rambled on enough about this already... heh.. but that just shows my point: I really enjoy the discussions that have arisen in response to this film. This sort of thing doesn't happen often.

In addition, I've officially closed a chapter of my life this week-end. I realized, which was like a slap in the face, that I was being ridiculously naive about a particular person. I was expecting too much of him, and I finally realized that he'll never change. He'll never listen to a damn thing I say. He hears, but he never listens.