Thursday, June 15, 2006

A Pat on the Head

I'm not typically one to sit around and over-analyze things other people say/do. Granted, I will often scrutinize my own behaviours and thought processes, but I generally try not to over-think what comes from external sources.

It's impossible to never over-interpret other peoples actions - but we can make an attempt to not place our own anxieties/fears/annoyances on other people and interpret their actions accordingly. Sometimes there really is no deeper meaning, and a comment made or action done really is what it appears to be at face value.

But okay, let's get real. What 20-something (23 on the 23rd, people!) city girl out in the dating scene is never going to wonder about the meaning of some things?!

So my boyfriend comes over the other night for dinner - which I willingly cook. I even went out and bought some of the incredients (double cream brie and fresh basil to add to diced tomatoes in olive oil and garlic over pasta). He compliments me on my cooking and generally enjoys the meal. Afterwards we have some coffee/tea and sit down to watch Jeapordy. Everything's fine, relaxing evening after a good meal and a long day. Good good.

So. As he's getting ready to leave, we're both standing next to my door talking about what we're going to do over the weekend. This is when it happens:

As he's saying goodbye, he reaches over and pats me on the head.


What the fucking hell is that about?! I mean, a kiss on the cheek/lips or even a hug would have been a far more appropriate parting - and even expected. I cooked him dinner for chrissake, and he PATS ME ON THE HEAD??

I don't even know what to do with that, besides laugh and wonder what the fuck is wrong with men. Seriously, what's going through the head of a man who pats his girlfriend on the head after she cooks him dinner?! Part of me wants to ask him, and part of me is ready to accept the fact that he's just kinda dense.

A dense man, you say? Inconceivable!


At 1:18 AM , Blogger Cassy said...

hmmm...well, I don't blame you for trying to analyze this one, Jo. I mean, I pat my four year old cousins on the head after they finish collecting all the eggs I hide on Easter. If my boyfriend ever did that I would flat out say, "umm...what the hell was that? and where's my kiss?" But since this is a young relationship, I probably would have done that same as you...stood there, somewhat shocked and dumbfounded, wondering what my next move should be.
Is it out of the question to ask him next time you talk what the deal about the head pat is? Maybe (God forbid) he uses it as a sign of affection. And if this is the case, you better find out if he pats EVERYONE on the head. The last thing I would want is my boyfriend greeting my parents with a friendly tap on the noggin.
Then again, maybe it is one of those things you should take at face value. He could have meant nothing by it. Maybe he was afraid his breath smelled too much of garlic, or that he had something stuck in his teeth. You might just want to wait this one out and see if it happens again. And if it does, ask him straight up. Don't be shy! If anything, he'll probably appreciate the fact that you're so upfront (although, I'm sure he's learned this trait of yours already ;) ) Good luck!!

At 7:42 AM , Blogger John said...

"Sit Bubu sit!"
I just thought of that dog which has a frisby in it's mouth which one of the film studios uses (can't think what show though).
A pat on the head - extremely bizarre, although I must admit I do wierd things as well. I have actually patted some female friends on the head, but only because they're so small, I'm so tall and it winds them up. That case doesn't apply here I think!
Overall it seems a little quirky - did he drink a lot of wine?? Don't read too much into it. Women may think they can read men and understand their every move - then we go and do something that is off the chart. With any luck he'll suprise you nicely in the next week and you'll forget all about it!

At 3:19 PM , Blogger Joanna said...

Cass, you are hilarious! I was reading your reply in the lab and I was totally cracking up, people were giving me looks. "The last thing I would want is my boyfriend greeting my parents with a friendly tap on the noggin" - lol!

I was just so surprised with it the first time that I couldn't react, but if he does it again he will definitely be tasting the Jo bluntness.

And you're also right, John. I'm really trying not to read anything into it, he unfortunately wasn't drunk - I think he is just genuinely dumb sometimes. heh.

At 6:40 AM , Blogger Chorna said...

LMAO! That's hilarious, Jo. Sorry, but it really is.

Boyfriends can be so utterly stupid. Observe:

One time I was with my boyfriend and I was trying to sleep in the park. We were with a bunch of people and I can't remember what it was, but he said something that made me laugh. All the people there started saying how I was a fake sleeper, but I explained: "sometimes he just says something so rediculously retarded, I can't hold back the surprise."

Men... they're all boys at heart ;)

Next time he goes to kiss you, pat him on the ass ;)

At 2:35 PM , Blogger Joanna said...

No need to apologize, Chorna - it IS fairly hilarious, in the sad sort of way.

I worked the head patting into a joke the other day, and he claims that he pats a lot of shorter people on the head. Guess he's just an asshole ;)

At 1:29 PM , Blogger Richard said...

It's because short people are funny.

They're almost like real people, only 3/4ths the size :)


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